For my revision I made several changes to my story. During class peer reviewing there were some good points made along with during my one on one meeting with Jesse. This first change I did that was brought up in both reviews was to make either Tessa or Peyton a rooting character for the readers to feel more fore throughout the story. I went through the whole story and took out some confusing parts and changed Tessa’s responses to be more relatable to if any of us were in her position. I made her seem more hurt than Peyton and through the story I gave her the confidence to face him and stand up for herself which she never was able to when they were together. I made Peyton come off more rude and careless so we hate him more than the first draft and like Tessa more. There should be a more clear side to take (Tessa) now when you read through.
Another point that was brought up that I took into consideration was bringing in flashbacks and hinting in the beginning of the story so it’s less to explain all at once later on in the story. I added in the first paragraph that Tessa was in therapy to heal from her trauma. I also added about her scar in the beginning hinting that someone happened with Peyton to get the scar. I give a little more about it later on but I give some in the beginning to get the readers curious about it. Another flashback/hint moment was once she was at the wedding I originally had a part about Kevin knocking the waitresses glasses all over the ground. I add in that when that happens Tessa has a sudden flashback to ‘that night’ with the liquor bottle and the scar. So that gives the readers another hint to keep them curious.
Dialogue was brought up as well as most of my story consisted of it. That was tough to work with but I ended up shortening a lot of the back and forth and just having Tessa narrate it in her head in between their back and forth argument. I also cut out some pieces since I hinted to some things earlier in the story I didn’t need to explain so much. Dialogue is defiantly a hard thing to work with as it shapes a lot of the story and character development. You have to think how Tessa would think and speak as well as Peyton.
The last thing was people were curious about the ending so I felt the story wasn’t done. I deleted the ending I had and decided to give Tessa a self growth moment so it seals the team Tessa deal. I thought ending it with the wink left people confused on Tessa and Peytons relationship so I changed it up some adding some explanation to why she hates him but is still drawn to toxicness but in the end she sticks to her gut and stays strong and leaving him in the past.
