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Jordyn Ransom Story Response

1. This story is about the main character Josie and seeing her ex Tucker with his new girlfriend at a party. Josies imagine runs wild as she sees Tucker heading her way and plays out a whole scenario between them in her head talking about their relationship explaining their history and their toxic on and off feelings for each other. At the end we find its all her imagination and she decides to avoid the scenario and turns away from him and leaves the party with her friends leaving him behind.
2. I absolutely love this story it is so far my favorite out of all the stories I’ve so far read because I feel like this is so relatable for people in this age range. I love how we don’t know this is all playing out in her head until the end of the story where she snaps out of it and decides to avoid the scenario that was in her head and just leaves. I love how with her and Tuckers conversation we get a taste of their past relationship of how it started and ended and how there’s still tension between them now. 
3. This story leaves me questions of how Josie and Tucker end up down the line because their relationship gives me vibes that they ill down the road be together again. Josie says she’s done with him but I feel like she’s not and its just heat of the moment. I wonder tuckers side of the story as well and what caused him to change throughout their relationship. 
4. My only suggestions would be for a part two this story is so good I’d love to read more.

Skyler Garcia Story Response

1. This story is about a boy names Alex who is the last to survive in outer space and has an imaginary friend named Percy to keep him company. The longer Alex is in outer space to more hopeless he becomes for making it back to earth. In the end Alex ends up dying due to hypothermia.
2. I really like how the story makes you feel like your going through the process of depression denial and then death with the narrator Alex. You read his thoughts as the story goes and how he starts to loose hope and loose sleep as time goes by. I feel this story was well done making you really feel for Alex.
3. I did wonder who Percy was at first it took a couple reads to realize he’s not real, I also didn’t understand why they were in space until my question was answered in class.
4. The only suggestions I have are to clarify the mission they’re in space for and why people are dying out in the space shuttle.

Kenzi Kimball Story Response

1. This story is about a kid named Q who called through a hole in a cave and meets another kid named Sunny and his dod Sweet Pea. They walk to Sunny’s hidden Shelter where he does his art. They chat and bond realizing they live on the same road.
2. I thought this story was very cute and threw me off. In the beginning the scene is set where its thrilling and you feel like there’s going to be a kidnapping and it turns out to be an unlikely friendship.
3. I wonder where the rest of the story will lead, if they meet up again or not. I also wonder how Q and Sunny life at home.
4. I suggest trying to make the beginning not so scary and maybe give Q a little more terror in the beginning because I think anyone would be scared if they fell in a hole and there was another person heading towards you down there.

Lizzie B Story Response

1. I had a hard time understanding this story but what I got was the character Stephan and his coworker Lena are underwater exploring underwater a cave. They find some art on the walls made by humans trying to read it. They figured they are dissents of humans In the past and shared traits.
2. I like how creative this story is to the future of earth and what it could be.
3. I do have a hard time understanding the story on if their mermaids or some type of water breathing dissent from humans. I also wonder how humans were lost in time and how the earth was mostly water where humans evolved into water people?
4. I suggest trying to explain in the beginning what’s going on a little better and describe what the water people look like, how they seem, how they maybe evolved to be that way.

Brady Spring Story Response

1. This story is about a boy named Isaac and Oliver who are dating. They are both demigods and are constantly on the run from monsters. Both having busy lives they finally plan to go on a date and have a normal day together. The story gives both of their sides of their emotions leading up to the date. They finally meet up for their date all excited running into each others arms and then they just have normal conversation and end the story with them kissing all happy.
2. I really like the action in the beginning and the romance of the story. I enjoy reading both of their perspectives of how they woke up and felt as the date got closer.
3. I do wonder where their relationship goes after this date and if they continue to make time for each other or are too distracted or busy with being demigods. I also want to know more about them and their lives and how they met.
4. A suggestion I have is since your story isn’t done to add more about their lives as demigods and maybe even end the story with some action. I feel since the demigod part was added in the beginning it should be put to use or else if you were to take it out it wouldn’t really change much about the story since its heavily focused on prepping and going on the date.

Sophie Pidgeon Story Response

1. This story is about a girl named Nina and her siblings and friends going bridge jumping towards the end of summer before freshman year of college comes. Nina stands at the edge of the bridge for a while we get insight on all that is running through her head all at once. Everyone is yelling telling her to jump and she keeps bringing up the fear of gravity working against her pulling her down. At the end she finally lets loose and jumps and gravity holds her hand all the way down safely.
2. I really liked how in detail the whole story is. Nine pages were really just covering about 5-10 minutes of time. We got insight of her mind works and the fear she had with gravity and heights.
3. A question I have is if she made it down safely after jumping. It ends with her holding hands with gravity. I also wonder more about her life before this if she always tended to overthink and worry.
4. I overall really liked the story the only suggestion I have would to give more on the actual adventure of bridge jumping. Like how they got up there or how it was after she jumped off.

Jenna Sabia Story Response

1. This story is about a boy who gets in a car accident and when he tells his family and best friend about it they keep worrying about him when he just wants to stop talking about it and deal with the trauma himself. On the other side his best friend is very affected with almost losing her best friend. The story then travels into thanksgiving where both have to act fine and plan to see each other for the first time since the accident. The story is put into two different narratives at the same time.
2. I really really enjoyed the story, I think it has so much potential for grow. I also thought it was creative to do the 2 different narratives to the accident and how both are dealing with their traumas.
3. Questions I have is if the boy is dealing with internal injures post accident due to all the soreness. I also wonder how they are both going to continue to deal with the trauma mentally since its affected them pretty bad.
4. Suggestions I have are to go into more detail about what they are both feeling internally. Show the struggle hiding underneath the boy a little more. Also give more detail of the accident, what he felt as it happened, what he saw. I’m excited to see where this story goes.

Mackie Harvey Story Response

1. This story is about a girl named Florence that goes to a college party and while walking back to he apartment her old friend that she still has feelings for pulls up, his name was Lincoln. Lincoln also has feelings for Flo but is trapped in a toxic relationship that he’s afraid to leave. He gives her a ride back and they talk in the car putting the thought of Lincoln back in Flo’s mind. Later on in the story Lincoln drunk stumbles into Flo’s apartment flirting with her and she tries to keep composure. In the end after lots of back and forth Lincoln breaks up with his girlfriend and him and Flo can finally be together.
2. I really enjoyed this story, originally reading this in the first peer reviews being able to see how much the story grew was nice. I really like how we get some history on their former relationship and how they bounce back and forth about their feelings for each other. I really liked the ending where they could finally be together.
3. Questions I have is what was going on in Lincolns toxic relationship. Flo gives some insight of what she sees but we don’t know how it really was. I also wonder Lincolns side to this relationship between him and Flo.
4. Some suggestions I have is maybe give more scenes with Lincoln and his former girlfriend and how toxic it is. Lincoln explains how hard it is to end things with her and Flo says she hurts him so I’m curious how her character is to him. I also wish to see a little more on the roommates.

Bridget McIntyre Story Response

1. This story is a love story between the moon and sun. They are given humanlike features need cross paths both go to earth at opposite times and can never be together. At the end they finally interact together but sun says they can never be together due to their responsibilities.
2. I thought this story was cute and creative. I liked the romance to the story but the power of responsibility.
3. I do wonder who Hamish is I don’t recall finding out. I also wonder about the journey I had a hard time following where moon was going.
4. I suggest trying to maybe explain scenes a bit more and what’s going on I feel like there a lot of jumping around. Also at the end give the moon and sun more time to talk, moon has been waiting for this moment for so long I’d give it some more room.

Kit Orologio Story Response

1. This story is about transgender girl named Argyle who collects ants. She has a passion for the little creatures who don’t have a voice. She comes home one day to realize she forgot to close the lid and the fire ant colony were escaping and she had to choose what was ethical to do. She had a flashback to when she was 8 and at school was watching a colony of ants build a hill and then some boy came over and crushed all the ants and bullied her. She then had to build the courage to kill the remaining escaped ants.
2. I thought this story had a powerful message about what is and isn’t ethical with animals and insects. I also could feel her pain when the ants were biting her.
3. I wonder more about her childhood and home life. there’s a brief description about the trouble with her father but I’m curious on how it was before her parents split. I also wonder what caused her interest so much in ants specifically.
4. Suggestions I would add is some more information on her transformation growing ups and the effect it had on her family and divorce. I also think it would be cool to go into more detail of the ants and their description.

Cole Hauser Story Response

1. This story was about a boy who’s mother abandoned him and his little brother leading their father to become an alcoholic. Some time later his brother drowned in a pond leading to his father to kill himself the same night. Being on his own he got a dog named Johnny that one night ran off making the boy have to go into the scary woods to look for him. In the woods strange things began to happen where he first came to find a large crater. The deeper he went he started seeing figures of faces on the trees of people he knew in the past. Running into his dead father he ends up being shot in the woods and dies but continues to spend his afterlife on earth at home.
2. I thought this story was very spooky and intense keeping me on my toes. I felt like I was loosing it with him in the woods as he thought he was hallucinating. The ending was shocking where the narrator ends up shot and staring at his own lifeless body and then goes home as if everything is normal.
3. Some questions I have are the history of his family and what ti was like before his mom left. How was their parents relationship and how was the boy and his younger brothers relationship as well.
4. Some suggestions I have is to not rush the beginning of the story so much, give more insight to the family and brother so then later on when they appear again it has more power and meaning. Also drag out the brother death scene some more, I feel like you could give it more emotion. At the end when the boy is dying give more detail to what it feels like to die and see your now body lay there.

Izzy Castrucci Story Response

1. This story is about a guy named Derek who is an artist sitting in a park looking for inspiration when a women in a green sweater comes along. When his buddy Al comes by to talk he looses sight of the women and gets upset. A little girl comes up lost and asks him about his work. After hanging out for some time a women comes by collecting her and he find it to be the women in the green sweater.
2. I thought this story was very detailed and just taking in scenery. The whole story probably took place in a matter of 20 min with the detail and the conversation between the little girl and Derek.
3. I didn’t have many questions while reading this it was pretty easy to follow I just wonder why the women was angry on her phone call and what could be going on. I also wonder how the little girl seperated from her mom.
4. Some suggestions I have is to give a little more scenery of where he is in the park, what’s around him. Maybe how his thought process works while analyzing the scenery.

Alexa Livingston Story Response

1. This story is about a bar tender who’s wife is dealing with severe cancer and is trying to cope with he dies of loosing her. The story goes back in time on how they met and grew so close.
2. I loved this story the power and emotion it holds. You can feel the husbands pain in the words. When caring for her he was strong he didn’t want her to see him struggle but at the end they both hod each other in tears trying to comfort. I felt teary just reading the story.
3. I don’t have many questions since the story gives such background and current struggles. I felt it was very clearly told and descriptive the whole time.
4. Some suggestions I can think of is an answer, I feel the stories ends with us wondering if she every beats the cancer or if she ends up dying and if she does how he copes with it.

Scott Clemons-Baker Story Response

1. This story is about a guy that struggles with stress and anxiety and only feels at ease when with his girlfriend. With her passing he then has to figure out his way on his own.
2. I thought this story was very detailed as he was people watching describing all that he sees, then wondering how their lives are. He falls in and out of reality with distracting himself watching other peoples lives to not focus on his own. I found the end of the story to be very powerful when he realizes there are other people in the world struggling with similar things as well.
3. A questions I had was what happened to cause the passing of his girlfriend I feel it was very quick to happen with not much detail.
4. Some suggestions I have is to be a little more clear with scenes I got a little lost following along. Also the beginning feels a bit rushed try to explain more about his anxiety and struggle and how his girlfriend would help before her death.

Gracie Ouellette Story Response

1. This story is about a boy and girl that are different and similar altogether finding the importance of the ocean as they go through their own struggles.
2. I thought this story was very deep and in depth describing the scenery. I felt there were special messages throughout the story. I like the set up go the story where we can see into Winters mind and Devyns.
3. Some questions I have are if Winter and Devyn have feelings for each other or are just very close, I get vibes they want to be something. I also want to know more about their friendship and how they met.
4. Some suggestions I have is to give more in the beginning how they became unlikely friends and how they ended up in the ocean.