Journals

Journal #1

After reading Cathedral the story I felt had a little of hidden messages which kept things interesting. You can also see character growth as the story comes to an end. In the beginning the husband was very anti blind people due to the stereotyping ideas that blind people are slow and grumpy. The husband was very sarcastic at first when discussing about the old mans stay to his wife. Towards the end we start to see the old man and husband begin to bond while smoking and watching TV while his wife is asleep. He even begins to open his mind up and have empathy for the old man. A hidden message I noticed throughout the short story was the constant bringing up about drinking. This made me come to think that the husband might have a drinking/substance problem as he explains him and his wife never go to bed at the same time as he’ll stay up late smoking alone and drinking while watching TV. An overall message I got from this story was the idea of empathy and not judging a book by its cover and assuming stereotypes.

Journal #2

– the idea we all see ourselves in villain characters, the writer wants us to be able to relate (30)
– the ability to change and make the character unpredictable so the story is more intriguing and not simple (34)
-keeping the story detailed but relevant (49)

Journal #3

– creating a goal to achieve within each story that gives more to the plot (57)
– adding a form of conflict to give the story some depth and intenseness. the conflict can be internal or external relating to main character (58)
-creating a beginning middle and end to give a rise climax and dramatic end to keep readers drawn in to the plot (66)

Journal #4

What I found most interesting in the short story “Camp Emeline” was the different conflict seen throughout the story. One being the narrators internal conflict with her struggle of making connections at the camp and we can see through her emotions and dialogue her battles. She confides in her conflict and we see character development as she faces her insecurities and becomes a new better version of herself. We also see interpersonal conflicts within the story between Libby and the other campers. This conflict brings out the complexities of friendships and social interactions with others and the challenges faced when put in a new environment and different people. I think all these conflicts and resolutions gave the story intensity and thrill. I love how the end all ties together and we see the character growths and challenges that were overcome. This story had me connecting on an emotional level and was found relatable which made the reading more enjoyable.

Journal #5

What I found most striking was the section on First Person: Multiple Version. I have never written a story with multiple narrators because I wasn’t sure how to properly without mixing characters accidentally. I have read books that have used multiple narrators and I found those books more interesting because I get to hear a similar story through different perspectives so it makes me more invested into the story. I like how the chapter brings out examples of different POVs and explains the epistolary techniques of presenting a series of letters exchanged between characters. I also like how it brings up the different perspectives between characters which allows the reader to piece things together and become more drawn into the story.

Journal #6

the most interesting section I found in chapter 5 was about Specificity. I struggle with the difference between being detailed and being specific. I will write in detail but not focus on specific things that are more important. The section gives examples of how to be specific with detail and keep the reader interested. The section also explains what you should and shouldn’t do with being specific. For example its not so important to be specific with little things like exact colors of the crayons being used because its just filler and not important. Being specific about something in the moment that important or will be reoccurring is what keeps the reader interested as their able to memorize the specifics for when it may reoccur later in the story. This will help me with writing and being able to keep the reader drawn into the story.

Journal #7

The story “Annunciation” was a good story but I found myself having a hard time following the writer and keeping with the story. I was drawn into some areas that were intense or action filled but I felt there was many times of just description and observations. I had a hard time following with the timeline of events as it was spread to over a course of a year or so. I do think there was good character development throughout the story which helped with making the characters personable. The conflict is resolved at the end of the story and the narrator builds a life for themself and faces the issues. You can see the narrator also becomes more in touch with their surroundings on the last page and goes into detail describing the cottage and landscape. I felt the ending was a bit abrupt though I didn’t feel that there was closure

Journal #8

what I liked most in chapter 6 was the section on dialogue conversation because in previous stories I’ve wrote I would try and do dialogue conversations but had a hard time doing it properly. The chapter does a bunch of examples of how to do it and how to give the characters voice a tone. It shows how to do dialogue with emotion like if someone is angry yelling or upset. It also taught how to make dialogue thoughts for the characters. This will definitely be helpful in writing my short story.

Journal #9

in chapter 7 I found the section on setting the details most interesting because I always find it difficult on where things should be detailed and where its probably not as important. With setting details it can help the reader get a detailed visual picture of what’s going on which keeps the reader engaged with the story. The chapter gives off examples of where and when to add important detail and how to make it feel realistic like your there in the story with the characters. This will be beneficial in writing my short story and keeper the reader attention.

Journal #10

I found this story to be relatable and emotionally touching. The explanation about what it feels like to fall into a depression felt very accurate. On page 170 the narrator says ” I felt blurry, dissociated. I had difficulty following the trains of simple conversations. With my plummeting mood my back weekend. — During the nights the pain kept me up, interrupting my nightmares, the visions of bombed out redwood groves and raging wildfires.” The attention to detail helped give me a strong visual of the story and I could feel the emotion of the narrator explaining his headache of constantly false hope with relationships. This story brings awareness to mental health and the need for support of others especially loved ones that can make all the difference. This story also shows the struggle physical injuries can have on mental health at such a young age. I felt more could’ve been done with the ending it didn’t seem to give the closure I was hoping for.

Journal #11

his chapter discusses different ways you can show voice in short stories. What I found most interesting and helpful was the section on words. The way you use words in a short story especially if its a characters can really help the reader understand the character and how they would sound and act. It also talks about different syllable styles to use in what situations to make the tone of voice more real. Another section that was helpful to read was sentences. I feel like a story can’t be a story unless the sentences flow together smoothly and are easy to follow and understand. The chapter gives examples of different formatted sentences with different styles to show the differences in story telling. This will defiantly be helpful as I work on my short story.

Journal #12

I found this story hard to read, the story was very well written but its hard to like the character and the terrible things done it was difficult to read. I found the introduction of the story super interesting as it dives right into a conflict scene. Within the first page we get an are able to figure out the narrator is a bad person and different examples of things he did were explained. Following the narrators story towards the end my opinion changes a little towards him as we see he has a heart but must struggle with some sort of mental illness.

Journal #14

Lizzie: I really like the perspective you took on this story. Right from the start its action filled and full of tension which kept me drawn in to find out what happens next. I think its difficult to be able to write a story about the supernatural because its so mysterious and thrilling but you did a great job with it. The story is about a mother and her daughter Janine going through the process of rebirth into a supernatural being. They are trying to say safe and protected from the harm humans cause towards them and their abilities. I like how it starts right in the action but I had a little bit of a hard time trying to connect the dots of what’s goin on. I think you should try and give more background so things make or sense. I think there are areas that leave questions about how and why this is happening to them and how they came to be supernatural. Is it genetic and passed down? Are they just born and life chooses what they will be? I overall enjoyed this story and it was set up and organized very well which made reading it easy. Great job!

Sophie: This story is about a girl named Alice that is dealing with what looks like PTSD and goes on a study abroad trip to Morocco. She goes through different challenges throughout the story and learns to face them. We see character growth as the story goes as Alice comes to realization of her adulthood and ability to be independent which I really like. I also really like the use of description in the story of her emotions and what she’s feeling. It makes her character more real and relatable. Describing setting was done very well as I could picture it but I would try and be more clear in location changes as I couldn’t tell she had come to Paris until she mentions being in Paris. A page break or transition paragraph could be useful. My favorite part is at the end she reopens the book she was reading heading to Morocco and continues it as she’s leaving, it gives a full circle moment in the story where it connects with he beginning. Good Job!

Journal #15

Brady: I found your story to be really different and cool. I like how you incorporated the future of AI and technology and gave it life. This story is about a scientist giving a robot a life and similar to humans and develop. I really like how you used dialogue between characters and giving each character their own personality through their words. The dialogue was set up a little confusing but if organized a little more it’ll be perfect! It seemed a little crammed at the end so it would be helpful if you spread out the end a little more to give the story a solid wrap. Overall I loved the idea of AI robot testing it felt relatable to society now as we transfer to more of an AI mixed life and future. Great job!!

Rachel: I really enjoyed your story, it was very personable and sensitive. I felt like I could relate and feel for the characters which kept me drawn into the story. I would say this is a self growth story where the sister has to step up and do whatever it takes to be able to care for her ill sister. Going through all this forced her to quickly grow up and be independent because her sister is relying on her. I do think there’s a lot going on for a short story so a suggestion would be to try and stick to the main theme and conflict in the story so readers can follow along better. It can be difficult when there’s several conflicts through a period of time to follow. Overall I loved this story, it tore my heart in all different directions. The ending as well gave me closure for her and her passed sister. Great job!

Journal #16

Daphne: I really enjoyed the way you set up this story. The dialogue was really well set up and executed. This is a story about 2 people who meet at a grocery store and instantly click. I like how simple and cute this story is it gives me butterflies reading it. The flirting isn’t too cheesy but isn’t too confusing you do a good job at giving just enough where its natural and cute. I suggest at the end maybe giving us a little more to look forward to maybe a little hint that they may meet again or a cute little “He hands me a paper crumbled up and walks away- its his receipt with his phone number on it” or something I feel like that would give us a little more closure on what could happen next if the story were to continue. 

Miranda: This story really pulled on my heart. I could feel the emotion through the dialogue. The use of raw emotion and sadness was portrayed very well. It almost gives a mysterious feeling at times trying to investigate what could’ve happened it leaves me curious to read more. This story is about a struggling family with lack of parenting and the narrators sister running away leaving the narrator to step up and make a living of her own independently. The ending left me a little sad I was hoping for a little more closure. Overall I loved this story!

Journal #18

Mya: This is a story about a waitress working at a diner and is sick of her daily routine in life. She fears the idea of change but after meeting a new face at work she becomes willing to take the risk for change. I really enjoyed this story. I like how there’s like hidden messages in the story and questionable scenes at leaves the reader to analyze and interact with. The story flows very well and is easy to follow and understand. A question I have that’s also kind of a suggestion is to build more on the adventure in her. She keeps bringing up she longs for travels and adventure but what does she want to do with it? Does she have ideas or dreams of where she wants to go and do?

Journal #19

Malachi: This story is about a man who leaves his past life in search for a better life on a boat. He becomes close to his mentor only for him to be taken from his life as well. I feel the theme of this story is the idea of loss. I really enjoyed reading this I could feel tension pulling me through the whole story. You did a really good job brining emotion to the dialogue and characters. A suggestion I have is maybe give more in the beginning on the mans family and some background to lead into him wanting out of his family. Also maybe also give your characters named so it feels more personable when reading. Overall great job the ending had me jaw dropped.

Kassidy: This is a story about a dog curious about the world and wanting to explore but ends up getting taken away and put in a shelter. I absolutely loved this story it was very different from all the rest as it was narrated in the perspective of the dog which really makes me feel more connected to the dogs character and personality. I love the character growth of the dog throughout the story and how going through this experience caused the dog to have to mature. It took me a bit to realize the narrator was a dog so maybe clear that up some towards the engining without being too obvious. A suggestion would be during the shelter time its not really possible for dogs to be there for years as typically there’s a time limit before they have to euthanize unfortunately so maybe bring that somewhere in there or lessen the shelter time to a more reasonable time frame. Overall great job I loved this story it was so wholesome!

Journal #20

Coco: This is a story about a college student finding love. I really liked the passion and emotion used throughout this story. You do a really good job of making the reader feel connected to the narrator. The story felt very real and relatable which made it even more attention drawing. The ending was very shocking as I thought it was going to end differently. The use of description was very well done as I didn’t have any issues trying to imagine the story as I’m reading. A suggestion I have is to be more clear of who is speaking when and as well give more insight on Tatianas emotions other than what the narrator perceives. Overall this was a great story!

Journal #21

Through this writing process I’ve learned a lot about myself and my writing. In past writing classes I’ve struggled with formatting and dialogue and I feel that I really showed growth and improvement in writing this short story. I also decided to challenge myself as a writer and write a story out of my comfort zone. In the past I wold write a lot of romance and this story was more along the lines of crime and murder. It was difficult to write the protagonist as a disliked character but after the workshops feedback I’m glad I was able to move the readers the way I wanted to. I overall feel around of my achievements and can’t wait to excel more in this next short story.

Journal #23

Sophie: This story is about a girl struggling with chronic illness and finding her way through life. The story is very touching and full of emotion. I love how the narrator describes her brace like its a monster. This story shows a lot of character growth which made it hard not to root for Ness. I also think it was a smart move to get several points of view of narration in the story. It gives the readers different perspectives of Ness and situations. With the several perspectives we are able to see the similarities between Ness and her mother with their genetic struggles. A suggestion I have is to give more about Ness and her mothers relationship. I feel them bonding more over their struggles would make the story have more closure. I overall Loved this story it was so touching.

Lizzie: This story is about a princess longing for adventure and seeing the world and find love. I thought this was a really cool story, we haven’t had a fantasy story so. I enjoyed the dialogue it was well done as well as description of characters and scenery. I was a bit confused following with certain scenes. I had a hard time reading the characters attitude at times so maybe try and make certain behaviors more obvious in dialogue or description. I also feel there could be more closure at the end with what happens next. Overall good job this story was very creative and a new perspective to fantasy.

Journal #24

Bridget: This is the story of a girl having to accept the past as she runs into it face to face. This story was very attention grabbing as we all struggle with relationships and accepting the past. I liked how you incorporate emotion with Emory and and her friend. Description was really well done especially with scenery. I was able to easily vision the story. I also like how the setting changes as Emorys feelings change. I suggest giving more on her new girlfriend and maybe how she feels about Emory being stuck with the past. Love this story!

Mackie: This is a story about relationships and obsession. This story was very attention grabbing and well done. Gemma’s character was realistically relatable which made it easier to read. This whole story fit very realistic which I really like because its believable and I feel like we’ve all experienced this in high school or college. I like this whole idea of secrecy and red flags. A suggestion I have is maybe giving some insight on Cooper and why he is the way he is. I feel like understanding both sides might make it more tense. Great job!

Journal #25

Mya: This is a story about denial and acceptance with the death of Peppers sister. This was a very realistic story as we’ve all experienced loss at some point in our lives and struggling with acceptance is a very real thing and it was portrayed very well. I really like the aspect of mystery in this story it gives the reader the ability to try and interact with the story in solving what happened. The emotion and tension throughout the story also kept the story alive and intense. We can tell that Pepper has a close relationship with the mom but I was hoping to get a little more on Peppers relationship with her father her sister before she distanced. I was wondering if there could be a little more detail towards the sisters disappearance maybe at some foreshadowing or hints but leave it for the reader to solve. Overall Great story!!

Journal #26

Brady: This story is about a lonesome giant in a fantasy world that connects with a human giving his life meaning and companionship. I loved the fantasy aspect to this story, I feel like it can be difficult writing a fantasy genre because you don’t want it to come off as too fake or cheesy but you did a good job with making it feel more realistic. The relationship between Helena and Eyre is very well explained and I like how they give each other purpose. A question I have is what’s the history between giants and humans and I suggest giving more on how it came to be only one giant left. Great job!

Kassidy: This is a story about a toxic relationship through the eyes of the toxic boyfriend. I found this perspective very different and kept me drawn in. I feel most relationship stories focus on the victim and not the toxic character so to get a different perspective was cool. The detail and description of their emotions and interactions was very well said. I love the character growth towards the end which gives me some closure. A question I have is what caused Jordans father to become the way he is and how did it carry down to Jordan, was he treated poorly too? I suggest giving more on his fathers background and connect it to why Jordan is falling under similar patters. Overall great job!

Journal #27

Coco: This is a story about a girl who needs to escape her toxic situation and be freed. I first off really like the title of the story. The emotion within the story is very well detailed and heartfelt. I could feel the pain she felt. I love the dog/wolf metaphors and the idea of predator and prey. There’s a lack of dialogue, I do think some more would be beneficial just to get a more personal understanding of the characters minds other than that third person perspective. A question I have is about the family specifically the mother. What background caused the mother to be as toxic as she? Also why doesn’t the narrator want to be like her mom so much if she’s so toxic? What aspects is desired?

Daphne: This is a story about a stalkers obsession over this girl. I could feel the anxiety and fear in the dialogue and description. The story gives a thriller aspect which we haven’t read too much on so that was a cool perspective and kept me on my toes the whole time. The description of the stalker and Penny’s reactions were very visible and had me feel just as Penny did. A question I have is mostly on the stalker. Does he have mental issues? Is he confused or lost? I suggest giving a little more on him to get a better understanding of his obsessions.

Journal #28

Miranda: This story is about a women who’s a marriage counselor watching her marriage falling apart similarly to one of her patients Venessa. I like the connections between Venessa and Talias relationships and the similarities. The imagery, setting and description was very weak done and made me feel like I was in the story while reading. The dialogue was easy to follow and understand which was helpful. I feel like it would be cool to get different perspectives in the narration of the story. It was very one sided and there’s always two sides to every story so I feel it would give more tension if we heard the husbands POV in this marriage. Since she’s a marriage counselor did she try any of her own skills to try and keep her relationship together? I was a little confused with the flashbacks so maybe try and hint it more clearly without actually stating its a flashback. Overall great job this was super well thought and creative!