Kenzi Kimball Story Response
- This story is about two roommates living to gather first semester. The roommate June then one night comes out saying she’s leaving and won’t be back next semester. They then have one night left together and then say goodbye at the airport.
- I really liked the emotion in the story of different feelings throughout the preparing to separate the following day. I felt their roller coaster of emotions.
- A question I had was there other reasons for June to leave her roommate so suddenly. The narrator says she had no idea June was struggling in classes and always seems happy so I wonder if June used that as an excuse and if the problem was really their relationship.
- I suggest giving more emotion when June announces her leaving because it’s so sudden I feel it would be upsetting maybe a little angry due to such short notice. Also maybe give more on Junes side of it and what’s going on for her needing to leave so urgently.
Jordyn Ransom Story Response
- This story is about a girl named Maisie that gets trapped in a snowstorm on her way home from work and is invited into a strangers house to get out of the storm. She’s very uncomfortable at first but then his kind actions makes her feel more comfortable. She’s under strict rules at home and tries calling her mom to tell her she’s okay and what happened and her mom screams at her saying she sin trouble and Jasper overhears. She breaks down finally opening up to him and having a coming at age moment.
- I really enjoyed this story it was very warm and comforting. I felt their conversations we’re making Maisie come to realization that she’s an adult still being treated like a child. I thought the conversation between her and her mom was stated really well and understanding.
- A question I have is who is Jasper? Did his house just happen to be where her car crash was and she walked to the closest house? How old is he?
- I suggest adding a little more suspense in the beginning because he is a stranger and the situation is uncomfortable. I also think more information on Jasper should be added like his age because I can’t tell if they’re similar in age or if he’s like way older.
Skyler Garcia Story Response
- This story is about two men that claim to hate each other but after some traumatic events they find they are more similar than they thought and a friendship begins to form.
- I really liked the time the story is set in, it gives me royalty and renascence vibes. I also really enjoyed the end where all the dots are connected when Jonathan pissed off went to Finn’s and finds he has no leg and that’s why he’s been hiding away and they end up bonding.
- A question I have when does this story take place and where does it take place. It bounces between currently and older times throughout the story so I can’t figure out when this is. I also wonder why the two characters hate each other so much and what caused it.
- I suggest giving some background in the beginning to help us understand why the two may hate each other. I also suggest giving more detail on the setting and surroundings so we can have an idea of where this might be taking place or when.
Lizzie B Story Response
- This story is about a married couple that has committed crime in their past but tried to leave it in the past. Struggling to pay bills and keep the house they agree to commit one more crime in order to survive. They try to steel a ruby in a museum and end up getting caught. While getting caught they defeat the guards and get away agreeing to stay away from crime and not go back again.
- I like the tension throughout the story on if they’re going successfully steal the ruby or get caught. I also liked how there was reference into the past and past crimes that were made and Abby was traumatized of killing people.
- Some questions I had were what were former crimes that they commited that has impacted Abby so much mentally. Also did they end up getting the ruby in the end or did the cops have it and did they just only escape themselves?
- Some suggestions is to give some background on their criminal history so we know where they stand on criminal activity. Also give more detail on their plan to get the ruby instead of jumping from the idea to them taking it.
Sophie Pidgeon Story Response
- This story is about a young girl who lost her childhood best friend in a bike/car accident and she ends up caring for her friends rabbit and becomes attached with the rabbit in memory in her friend. She also has to deal with her mom being super strict with her and her father is always traveling with work.
- I really enjoyed everything about the story, I thought it was warm and sweet at the end when Adelaide hugs her friends parents and feels comfort. I also thought the story was very detailed and emotional as we see how her friend died in the past and how it affects current time.
- A question I have is when does this story take place, it gives me royalty, older times but I’m not sure. I also wonder why her mother is so strict, if it’s part of being royal or if her mother is going through stuff.
- A suggestion I have is to give a little more of a settings of when this is taking place. Also give more on the mother and why she is the ways he is.
Brady Spring Story Response
- This story is about a stressful runaway roadtrip between 2 friends to a hotel and are excited once they make it there.
- I liked the adrenaline rush throughout the story of them running away and the friendship development. There was also humor throughout he story which made the story more light of the situation. The story was also very creative and realistic.
- Some questions I have is about the girls personal lives to cause their reasonings to run away. Was it really bad that they couldn’t stay anymore?
- A suggestion would be to expand farther than just being in the car most of the time talking. Give some more about what they do once they’re at the hotel or maybe what happens further on if their parents end up finding out. I also feel there should be more action while on the road.
Izzy Castrucci Story Response
- This story is about a women acceptance of her husband’s suicide and finding his letter. The story also gives a lesson about life and love and pain.
- I felt this story was very emotional and beautiful and I really enjoyed it. It was written in such a creative way it feels so realistic and powerful. I liked how the letter gives such big meaning in the story. The story does a good job with the flashbacks going back and fourth in time. I felt at the end of the story we could really see the closure which was powerful.
- A question I have is what caused the addiction that lead to his suicide. I feel we need more on their past to understand him better and why he did what he did.
- A suggestion I have
Jenna Sabia Story Response
- This story is about a girl being uncomfortable her first few days in college and is having a hard time socializing and adjusting. She meets a guy similar to her that helps her find her way and she meets more people like her. She ends up within 5 days wanting to stay and feels at ease.
- I like how this story is a coming of age story and how she started in the beginning and how much she grew and flourished In just a few days. This story is very realistic and relatable where we have all experienced the first few days of being in college and trying to make friends.
- A question I have is did Harrison at all have feelings for Bree even tho he had a girlfriend. I felt they were almost too close to just be friends with how much time they spent together.
- A suggestion I have is how was she before college was she also like this in high school. I also want more at the end of how the rest of the year went.
Mackie Harvey Story Response
- This story is about a young girl battling with cancer and while in the hospital meeting her best friend in there that later on passes.
- I like how real and raw this story is and have such a sensitive topic was taken and made into an emotional deep story. I loved the friendship between the 2 kids in the hospital. I could feel this story and atmosphere and imagine everything as it was happening.
- Some questions I have are how did she develop the cancer was it in the family or did it just grow. I also wonder more about how Delilah and what her story was.
- A suggestion I have is to build more on the friendship between the two and give a little more on Delilah.
Cole Hauser Story Response
- This story plays out as a movie that this guy makes for his love because she is dying of cancer.
- I liked how the story was made into movie making me feel like I’m a part of it. It’s a story within a story. The story was very creative with referencing the beginning at the end so it full circles. This was a more uplifting story which was nice because it could’ve easily made soppy and emotional.
- A question I have is was the truck scene real or in the movie? Also were they in love or just good friends I can’t tell where they stand with each other.
- A suggestion I have is to give more on the truck scene because there’s not much closure on what happened. Also give more detail on the argument they have at the party.
Bridget McIntyre Story Response
- This story is about an old married couple where a boy named billy tells a story about how he met violet and he keeps telling her stories to help her remember. They find out violet has Alzheimer’s and he promises to keep reminding her about their love.
- I loved this story because its sweet and cute and emotional. This story is relatable because many people including me have had a loved one go through Alzheimer’s and the story explained the experience of it well.
- A question I have is what happened with Billy original date. Did they just never speak again?
- A suggestion I have is to not rush the end so much give a little more emotion to the end. Also give a little more background in the beginning about being in the army.
Scott Clemons-Baker Story Response
- This story is about two people facing paths trying to find their way in the city and running from the cops. They learn they have to face their past and not run from it.
- This story had a strong beginning roping me in making me interested and throughout the whole story I was on my toes. There was lots of action and drama that made it more interesting. There was also good character development.
- A question I have is what happened in his past to make him leave. Also what went down between Boston and his dad originally.
- A suggestion would be to give information on how Boston got the address information and not just him somehow knowing without an answer.
Gracie Ouellette Story Response
- This story is about a girl named Sophia and her close friend Noah who end up dating and Sophia ends up realizing she’s not into Noah and pretends to be into him for months until they break up on a bad note and Sophia ends up with her toxic ex again.
- I really enjoyed this story because it drew me in with Sophia getting deeper and deeper in a bad situation. I also really liked how we could read her mind during situations and the way she thinks and processes. I feel this is a relatable situation and very realistic and was done well.
- A question I have that probably won’t be answered but I wonder if Sophia and Noah ever come around again and become friends again or if they never associate again. I also wonder if Asher really changed the second time or if its just new love again.
- A suggestion I have is to give more on Asher and how their relationship might’ve affected Sophia to make it hard for her and Noah. Don’t rush the end either I feel like I need closure.
Alex Kiehnau Story Response
- This story is about a couple at the bar and enemies come in and Penny ends up saving the day. The story gives that Penny’s job is very challenging and dangerous.
- I really enjoyed the action and tension through the story it kept me very drawn in. The story also has some romance to it which pulls it all together. I felt the story was very well rounded and had a nice light and humorous close at the end. The layering was very smooth and easy to follow while reading.
- Some questions I have is why would Penny put the ring in her shirt pocket that’s probably not the safest spot for it during a fight. How long did the gun fight last, it feels like a long time.
- I suggest breaking up big parts more so it’s easier to understand while reading. Try to separate action from background information so it’s not confusing with what going on at the moment and what already happened.
Mia Morgan Story Response
- This story is about a girl that meets a guy in college and tries to be what he wants her to be and the relationship becomes toxic. After a big fight she takes off the engagement ring and leaves him finally but Is left with nothing but a fresh start.
- I felt this story was very well written and character development was well described. The story moved me and kept me drawn the whole time. It had lots of power and emotion to it. As challenging as is I enjoyed that she got her freedom at the end from him for a new start.
- Some questions I have is more about Prestons history to help understand him better. I thought it was a little odd we don’t see Preston for a majority of the story after the blowout.
- A suggestion would be to add him in a little more throughout the story. At the end give a little more closure. Maybe add is Preston is going to get in trouble for the abuse he caused or If he gets away from it.
